It has been almost 2 months since my last blog post. And having stalled on day 3 of my two-week trip to Japan with Alex in March, it is not for lack of material! I had a busy April with trips to Brooklyn, Boston, and Albany. They were all fun, and I wrote a blog about my trips to Brooklyn and Boston. In the midst of that, though, I also had a crescendo of multiple difficult issues in my personal life. In addition the political persecution of immigrants, LGBTQs, universities and medicine are very hard for me to deal with.
All of my friends and relatives know what has been going on since November, but only a few (and my therapist) were aware of the other issues that arose in April. I was very depressed for a few weeks, to the point that I couldn’t get myself to exercise some days, which, of course, made me feel guilty and more depressed. Confounding the situation was that I was scheduled to run the Buffalo Marathon at the end of May and a half-Ironman distance AquaBike the following week. I have not had my treadmill or bike trainer since November and refused to buy new ones on principle, as it would be a huge waste of money. I was able to (barely) train for the Tokyo Marathon by using the UB recreation building and outdoor icy runs. As I was only aiming for a sub-four-hour marathon, it was manageable, and I ran 3:57 in Tokyo on a hot day (the marathon was day 4 in Japan, so eventually, it will be my next travel blog post…). But I did almost no serious indoor bike training over the winter, and we had a significantly delayed spring in Buffalo this year; it was either cold or rainy practically every day. I had planned to run Buffalo all out as an attempt at a new PR (personal record); it is a flat, uncrowded course, so it is suitable for fast times. The crappy weather, my depression, and lack of a treadmill made me quickly realize I wasn’t going to be able to be maximally prepared, so I made the smart decision to switch to just doing the half-marathon and volunteering the day before.
After having less worries about training and some time passing I felt better and got back to exercising and sleeping better. I also tried to get out and socialize a little more. The BTC had a nice BBQ pre-season event that I biked before, finally the weather was improving.
In honor of my kid, uncles and other LGBTQ friends, co-workers, etc. I had signed up for the Pride 5K but as I had “custody” of Fifa that day we just walked half the course. They only had XXL t-shirts left when we registered so it fit Fifa perfectly.
On the drive home we stopped to see Fifa’s friends Mark and Chico. Fifa enjoyed their fish pond!
I have also been trying to use the Calm app (at least a few times per week) and read a very beautiful, relaxing book; “Orbital”, it won the Booker Prize last year. It is about the International Space Station astronauts but really a meditation on the Earth, space, and other topics.
I started my Buffalo Marathon weekend by volunteering Saturday at registration and also several hours rolling/folding shirts…they had “food” for volunteers 😉
Sunday, the weather was perfectly cool, and I ran a half-marathon PR of 1:50. I was very happy to get my medal from my friend Jaime, who was volunteering at the finish line and took my photo.
A friend in the triathlon club had asked to see the hill bike course I train on in Orchard Park and we had arranged it for Memorial Day (the day after the Marathon), I led a group on the first loop but then cut my second loop short as didn’t see any need to push things.
The following week would have been the OnondagaMan aqua bike (1.2-mile swim, 56-mile hilly bike), but at the same time I had switched from the full to the half marathon, I had deferred the race to next year. I had been planning to camp at a New York State park near the race for a few days, but, like the treadmill and bike trainer, I also do not have my camper van, and the only hotel near the race was sold out.
Last year my first swim in Lake Erie was May 3rd so at the end of April I started checking the NOAA buoy website (still working despite Trump’s hate of science). Below 55 degrees it is a little difficult for me even in a wetsuit (most people in my tri club STILL haven’t been in the lake as of today, June 15). By May 11th I got in even though the water was only 54 degrees. A week later the water wasn’t much warmer but it was flat and the air was 75! Whenever people say I am brave or tough or crazy I inform them that in England people swim all winter WITHOUT wetsuits in 50 degree lakes and ponds.
On May 16th the BTC (buffalo triathlon club) had it’s “Spring Thing” untimed bike, run activities of different lengths. I wanted to do 3 loops of Grand Island but left early as it looked like it might rain before noon… it did! I was safely in my warm car for the 20 minutes of heavy rain.
My kid moved in with me (from Brooklyn) at the end of May and we have been getting some Fifa custody but not up to 50% yet. I got some flowers to brighten up our home.
For June I have been sharing Pride Month stuff on social media but skipped the local parade. My kid was going with friends and didn’t need a Dad along.
It was so awful (and spiteful) for Trump to have the Naval ship named for Harvey Milk renamed. Especially as Milk served in the NAVY while Trump illegally dodged the draft! And Milk was killed by a homophobe!
After listening to a half-dozen mediocre science fiction audiobooks as mind candy during my depression I finally listened to a great non-fiction memoir, wonderfly read. It is about an English woman’s experience with a wild hare during her Covid lockdown in the countryside.
On June 8th I did a long swim-run workout, despite the mildly unhealthy Canadian smoke levels.
Another sign that I am doing better mentally is that I actually cooked a meal to bring to our monthly BTC board meeting. I made a vegan rice dish with raisans, almond, carrots and tomatoes!
After 2 months of avoidance I finally went to a Yoga class and really enjoyed it, I signed up for next week also!
Work has been going great, one or two days a week is perfect. And of course work days allow me to have 8-12 hours of not worrying about my personal life and instead focus on my patients. And it is nice to interact with all the hospital staff and other doctors.
Yesterday I drove 90 minutes to and from Geneva, NY to participate in a Mussleman 70.3 Triathlon bike course preview ride organized by the Rochester Area Triathletes (RATS). It was great. And I ran a fast 15 minutes off the bike also. I made a Relive video, it is only a minute long. Enjoy.
https://www.relive.com/view/vQvyKLPGyK6
Today’s Father’s Day swim!
The water was up to 66 degrees and a half dozen other people showed up.
A week ago I read a great short article, I haven’t gotten to the other sources they referenced yet:
“Do you know how to rest? I often worry I don’t. When I’m worn down or overstimulated, I’ll lay down on the couch, my mind too frazzled to read a book or a magazine. Like many people, I often default to looking at my phone, which always fails to relax me. True rest often feels out of reach.
In an article for Wise & Well, nurse Andrea Romeo RN, BN discusses why this is — how a few days of rest or vacation is rarely enough to combat burnout. “A common symptom of burnout,” she writes, “is feeling constantly fatigued, even after a good sleep, but burnout does not always feel like being physically tired.”
I was struck by an idea Romeo quoted from Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, author of Sacred Rest, who has written that there are “seven types of rest: physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, sensory, social, and creative.” We might be physically rested but spiritually exhausted; socially content but emotionally spent. To combat burnout, Romeo recommends forcing unscheduled days, avoiding obligations that don’t serve your interests, and prioritizing things like hobbies, loved ones, and your body. In a capitalist society, this can be difficult: we’ve been trained to prioritize productivity, wealth, and action. We are rewarded for multitasking — a clear driver of burnout.
But Romeo’s suggestions got me thinking about the importance of quiet, which Elan Kesilman-Davin, Ph.D. has written about for Pragmatic Wisdom. “We don’t just avoid silence,” she writes of the modern world, “we erase it.” To better appreciate the value of silence, she turns to Swiss philosopher Max Picard, who “describes silence as something alive […] like a presence that holds things together.” Silence, in our modern world, might not be a total absence of sound, but a rejection of the pings, dings, and notifications that are constantly vying for our attention. It might look like walking around without headphones, sitting quietly in a park, or listening to the water run instead of putting in a podcast while we do the dishes.
As Kesilman-Davin writes, “Silence hasn’t gone anywhere. It just has to be chosen.”
After reading that I thought that it would be VERY helpful to me if I could schedule just ONE day per month of “nothing”. Other than a moderate morning workout I would like to spend a day of NO chores, social media, news, etc. Just reading my Kindle, visiting a park or beach, going to a movie, etc.
It remains to be seen if I will manage that soon or ever. In any case, hopefully I’ll find the mental energy to get back to my Japan blogging.
Happy Father’s Day.
Thanks David as usual it was informative. Hope your personal life will be better with time.
Great blog! Thank you!